Last weekend brought with it a tour of some of Leeds' mid-top-end drinking establishments with best buddy Michael and girlfriend Lizzy which (via some System of a Down-induced moshing) ultimately resulted in crawling out Leeds Academy in utter ruin before heading to Temple Newsam the following day for 'Party in the Park'.
It's long been a tradition of mine and my friends to attend these free open-air pop concerts, where subversive mocking, drinking and the opportunity to earn some 'lad points' have been the order of play. It also allows brother Gary to carry on his fine work in the letching department (see Bulgaria...Fuck Yeah!). Along the way, we've seen the likes of Liberty X, McFly and Beverley Knight multiple times. I hate, I HATE Beverley Knight. She's absolutely bab and makes me want to punch her in the armpit really hard.
Highlights included Example (nice jacket), Frankie from The Saturdays (woof!), Professor Green (who I'm quite interested to see what happens without his sampling - I like his voice), Vanessa Amorosi (who sang 'Absolutely Everybody' in 2000...no?) and Basshunter ("Leeds! Let's fucking paaaarty!", he exclaimed before getting 50,000 children to bounce with him. Fair play to him, the mad Swede/German/Fin/Dane). Without doubt though, Craig David was the star of the show - he was absolutely cosmic! Having ripped up 7 Days, Fill Me In and Walking Away, he launched into 2 explosive minutes of freestyle (well, rehearsed) spitting and genuinely pulled it off. I was all like, "no way!" and Craig David was all like, "yeah - check me out. Peas!".
Craig David - Fill Me In (www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdcmM9T8vD4&feature=avmsc2)
Despite the fun, even the bottle of vodka that I smuggled in via my skinny chords (!) wasn't quite enough to help us power through acts like The Script, Tinchy Stryder and a Blue reunion (of sorts - that tit 'Lee' and the fat one were on stage together) which prompted brother Gary to claim it was they who sang 'Blue-Da-Ba-Dee' (www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc). What a spaz.
After seeing 'Frankie and The Saturdays', it was time to make like Michael Jackson and beat it (Watts, A., 2010) before Dizzee Rascal entered the fray (as in he came on stage - not as in raping the whiney, sappy piano-'rocking' band - that I would pay to see).
My week also saw me sporting a handlebar moustache that could have meant the end for Motorhead's Lemmy, although I decided it was best kept between me and the bathroom for now. I'm not sure the world is ready for it just yet, especially with Lemmy and Motorhead about to embark on another UK tour.
The best news of the week came from America, where Kings of Leon were forced offstage during a gig in St Louis due to pigeons making poos on them. This made me giggle. Although I was extremely jealous of the pigeons in question, they did a pretty good job and nearly landed a bullseye in the drummer's mouth. Call it comeuppance for just about everything after Leeds/Reading '07.
I really hope the Followhills find their way back to awesomeness and lose the singing lessons and sleigh-bells that have frankly made them look a bit silly. They blatantly just need their handlebar moustaches and facial hair back, along with a sprinkling of a gentle S.T.I. each. If that doesn't help, it's blatantly Jesus' fault.
Whilst I was in the biggest queue I've ever been in at a cinema, I was starting to feel a bit nervy about seeing Toy Story 3. I kept seeing people's statuses about it Facebook and how it was immensely sad and how they had sat cradling themselves in the corner wondering, "what's the point of it all?". My scepticism increased when an inconsolable 8-year-old was being comforted by his mother outside the cinema doors...
As it turned out, I really loved the film and was well worth the wait. There were certainly emotional scenes towards the film's conclusion but nothing to make me boo like the end of 'Big Fish' does. The additional new characters were just lovely and fitted in perfectly (yey), whilst Mr Potato Head had me absolutely creased with additional cheek-cramp during the part where...erm...best not.
I was finally welcomed into 2010 by getting myself on Spotify (thanks again Jenny Mitchell). I was initially a bit frustrated with its inconsistent behaviour in picking and choosing which music I was able to upload (it wouldn't let me upload any Cribs or Queens of the Stone Age, which I'm sure you'll agree is grossly unfair) but I'm am now enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've not felt this satisfied since the last night of Glastonbury when I finally managed to make use of my duct tape by strapping Andy up in his sleeping bag. That was a good night.
My user name is 'newyorkshire', a phrase the NME thought it created following an explosion of Yorkshire-based bands in the mid-noughties. They didn't. So there. So what now? Do we all swap playlists like a massive e-musical orgy? I do hope so.
One last thing. Music plays such a huge part of our lives these days. It was Madonna who said that "music makes the people come together (yeah)". Richard Ashcroft said that "music is power" and it was CSS who said that "music is my hot, hot sex".
With this in mind, I would like to dedicate this blog to a very special friend of ours - bigger than Jesus and the saviour of music - Andrew WK (www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg&feature=avmsc2).
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